By Kelvin H. Chin, Life After Life Expert
My roommate in college had this expression: “It’s all cotton candy….”
He would use it whenever someone was making an argument or talking about something in a way that made it sound better than it really was. What he was saying was that it was all sweetness with no substance.
Think about it. Makes sense, right? Remember in your childhood when you maybe went to that circus or county fair and your parents bought you a huge fluffy cotton candy on a cardboard tube? It was huge, right? Maybe 2 feet high, a foot wide! More than half your height at the time!!
But in a short few minutes it was in your tummy — all that sweet sugar — and that huge pink ball of “cotton candy” had literally disappeared into thin air. Because that’s what it was mostly...lots of air. And enough sugar to make you feel good!
I think that’s what most of us are doing when we create institutions and belief systems that are not very well thought out. They are mainly there to make us feel good. Mostly are lots of hot air and sweet comforting words.
We do it with religion, politics, and even in our general everyday conversations.
Why do we do that?
I think it’s because of our need for certainty in a universe that thrives on — even from a physics standpoint is based on — uncertainty.
But is that “cotton candy” approach to life realistic? Even helpful? Or does it actually lead to more pain and suffering?
I think the latter. Because we can’t fool our common sense mind, we can’t ignore reality. The reality is that uncertainty is part of life.
And would we want it any other way? Would we want everything to be predictable? Wouldn’t we get bored really fast?
But what happens when there’s a disconnect? When there’s a disconnect between our beliefs — which are often promulgated by our cultural, political, religious and spiritual institutions — and our experience of reality and thus our common sense, we suffer. First we get frustrated, and if we continue to ignore reality, we get angry and despondent.
We have a “sugar crash” after we eat our societal “cotton candy.”
So what’s the alternative?
Don’t buy so much cotton candy. Don’t eat all that sugar.
Eat healthier — in other words, think for yourself. Use your common sense. Match it against your reality.
Ask yourself — “Does it make sense?” If not, find a teacher, mentor or guide who gives you the insights and skills to help you think more clearly for yourself. Because when we figure things out for ourselves — even temporarily — it makes us feel more self-confident, more self-sufficient.
And what does that, in turn, do? It makes us feel less concerned with, less bothered by, uncertainty.
Because we have then become so secure within ourselves by clarifying our thinking and cutting out all the stuff (the “hot air”) that just fills empty space and doesn’t make sense (all the “cognitive dissonance”) that we feel like whatever may happen — whatever surprises we may encounter in life (or death) — we’ll be able to handle it.
Maybe even enjoy it.
Kelvin H. Chin is a Meditation Teacher, Life After Life Expert, and Author of “Overcoming the Fear of Death.” He learned to meditate at age 19, and has been teaching Turning Within and coaching others in their self-growth for 40 years. He helps people understand their life challenges through their individual belief systems, and helps them find their own solutions. His past life memories reach back many centuries, and he accesses those memories in his teaching and his coaching in the same way all coaches draw on their own available experiences for perspective and effective analogies. He can be reached at www.OvercomingTheFearOfDeath.org or www.TurningWithin.org.