“The 6 Myths About Grief”
by Kelvin Chin, MA, JD, GRS
Certified Grief Specialist
Don’t Feel Badly
Replace the Loss
Grieve Alone
It Just Takes Time
Be Strong For Others
Just Keep Busy
These very common Myths About Grief are not helpful, and are potentially harmful because they keep us stuck. But our culture is full of messages that contain them. This is due to our focus on the physical, often at the expense of the mental and emotional. Our culture tends to downplay the importance of emotions, and when we address them at all, it is usually to tell people to squelch them — to put them aside. This is unhealthy and keeps us locked up in grief.
“Go to your room if you want to cry...” is what parents start telling their children at a young age. This incorrectly teaches us that emotions are bad...and worse — are to be hidden.
How many times have your heard someone say, “Don’t worry, you’ll get over it...it just takes time...”? Would that be good advice if you had a broken arm? Of course not! But it is often the advice we hear when someone has a broken heart, when they are emotionally grieving over a loss.
Kelvin begins by addressing these myths in the Grief Recovery Program, and through the subsequent weekly sessions helps each participant move beyond those myths to focusing on what does work, what is effective in helping that person move beyond the loss to a place where they can live more fully in the present.
He has been working with people for 30 years on dealing with issues of loss of all kinds —
- death of a loved one (family, friend, pet)
- divorce
- layoff
- financial loss
- and many of the 40 other types of “losses” we can experience
Kelvin has a bachelor’s degree from Dartmouth College, a master’s degree from Yale University, and a law degree from Boston College. He is a certified Grief Recovery Specialist, and a certified AAA Blue Ribbon mediator and former MIT ombudsman. Kelvin speaks and works with clients internationally on grief recovery.